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Emotional roller-coaster day

Unforgettable wedding anniversary

What a week! Busy at the office and busy to go to hospital. Yet again, another phone call. It was Dr. Eddy called me at the office. Strange. Nobody but Keath has my office number. She wanted to see me immediately, but I have to work. I don't want to ask another half day off again. Half day off tree times in a week is too much. Especially I just started this job and I really like it. However, Dr. Eddy was really serious and I had to say "yes" to see her today. Right after Dr. Eddy's phone call, Keath called me. He sent me flowers for our wedding anniversary so told me to wait leaving the office until get the flowers. The things Keath and the florist didn't know were our company uses 3 floors in the same building(which neither Keath nor the florist know what floor I was in), I'm a temp stuff just started working and most of the employees don't know my name yet. I was worrying about the florist will never find me. I was right. He left flowers at main office reception where I've never been. 2 minutes before leaving the office, an employee asked me about flowers! Yey! I found my flowers! (more like they fond me!) So I started heading back home with beautiful flowers, shaking because nervous.

Picked up Keath home and went to Doctor's office together. Dr. Eddy told me the result of the biopsy. Breast cancer. It seemed the world around me stopped moving for a moment. I cried on Keath's shoulder and thought this is like a movie. Yes, like movie, I wish I could fast forward the whole process to the happy ending. I guess I knew that I have breast cancer when I heard the nurse at women center kept saying "everything would be all right. It will be all right" during the mammogram and biopsy test. I subconsciously knew "will be all right" means there's something wrong with my breast now. It was a big shock to find out that I got breast cancer, and then I remember both my mom and Keath's mom are the breast cancer survivors. If both moms could overcome the cancer, why can't I do it? I can survive like both moms, right? Keath held me really tight as if tighter he holds me, stronger we can get. Dr. Eddy said she hopes my left breast lump is just a tumor. When we all calm down from the shocking news, Doctor told me I need to go through so many tests and need to do a lot of things to fight against breast cancer. She also said that it's very time concern matter. We need to take care of it as soon as possible. OK. What do I need to do now? What do I need to do first?

Dr. Eddy gave us phone number of an oncologist and a surgeon, but the oncologist won't be available until the end of February. What if my condition gets worse while waiting? Should I just wait him and not doing anything? Keath called Dr. Eddy to get other oncologists' phone numbers. Somehow she arranged an appointment for us on 2/20/02 with Dr. Sheldon Davidson. I can wait another 10 days. Besides, I can have my left breast biopsy while waiting. Since nothing shown on the left breast X-ray, it will be ultrasound biopsy for my left breast. Ultrasound biopsy was much less pain and took less time than stereoscopic biopsy. I don't know why they don't use more ultrasound for breast cancer checkup and biopsy. It is less pain and less damage to body.

Today is our wedding anniversary. First time, Keath sent me flowers. It meant to be happy day for both of us. Unfortunately, it became sad day with shocking news. I really hope I could remember February 8 is as JUST our wedding anniversary in the future. I don't want to remember today is another anniversary that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.


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